Tuesday, August 31

stone cold fox

so romantic & seductive.

call me a safe bet, i'm betting i'm not.

freedom & heart

i don't remember where i found these but i've fallen deeply in love.
after everything, and i do mean...everything, that's been going on the past two weeks,
i need to dance and feel something or anything.
lovely clothes, good souls, and happy hearts are what i need.

goddess in denim

Tuesday, August 24

Maximillian, 4 days later.

You were in my dream the night before last. I hugged you so much and cried and told you how happy I was that you were back. All you could say was "only until I have to leave again." I love you so much, Max. I've been thinking about our early days when we'd sit on the phone all night and you would get angry at me for crushing on Jesse McCartney. (I just had to google his name, if that let's you know how little of an impact the kid made on me compared to you...) I remember our first kiss. Donovan and Meredith were over and we were playing "Hide & Seek" that kiss was the only moment in my entire life that I truly felt shivers go down my spine. I remember the night at South Park when I got cake on your shirt and you got so angry with me. I remember one night at Cramers, I cried to you because I was so worried about you and the things you were doing. I remember you being the only person to know everything about me. I remember times in Fuquay, times in Oak Hall, times at Josh's. I remember the pain I felt when we couldn't be together and I remember the joy I felt years later when I realized we could in fact be friends. And last but not least, I remember the way I felt when I got the call that you were gone. I'll never forget everything we had as friends, and everything you had as a person, because you had the whole world ahead of you. I always knew we'd be best friends for a lifetime (mostly because I never could escape you, we always found each other). I knew we'd be at each others weddings and I knew I'd one day see a child that you had created. I so looked forward to those days. I miss you dearly and I keep finding myself writing you these extravagant comments, but how else can I talk to you? You're so heavy on my mind and I hope my dream of you last night will be the first of many. Please visit me, I need to feel your heart. I love you, I'm thinking of you and your family, and I will see you soon.




Saturday, August 21

Maximillian,

Mr. Bratton, you have meant the world to me for longer than I care to think about. Living in a world without you is a world I'm truly uninterested in facing. You have been such a huge part of my life since I met you and I'm so thankful that we spent some really good and heartfelt times together recently. I visited your family this morning and they're doing good. They miss you so much, babe. Why'd you do it? No one can figure out why you left, why you drove the way you did. No one even knew you left. That's so unlike you, you are the life of the party, or atleast the life of mine, and normally you make it known when you come and go. The last thing you said to me was "mwahh" via text the night of the accident. that text made me smile so big. You're the only frind of mine who called me Hilw or Hiwawy, like a baby. I miss you so much kid, this is gonna be hard and I just wish you were by my side helping me deal with it. I love you to the end of time, oh but you always knew that. Stand by me and please never let me go because I promise you I'll never let you go.
6/13/90-8/20/10

Monday, August 16

08162010

I dreamed you were standing in this dark
place and you touched these dead flowers
and they lit up like they were electric or something.
Electric lilies. Lighting up the Valley.

-Francesca Lia Block

dazed

several of my bestfriends and i, they always inspire me.

Wednesday, August 11